The Life-Changing Realization That Helped Me Conquer My To-Do List
I used to be a sucker for to-do lists. I’ll be the first to admit it. That feeling of making a long list of stuff to get done, however trivial, gave me a sense of purpose for my day. Anything could be a candidate for my growing list of things to do. A trip to the grocery store for milk, a call to my bank to inquire about a charge, anything. I even added tasks that most of us take for granted like making the bed. Sure, I didn’t need to include something as insignificant as making my bed in an otherwise important list of to-dos. Still, once I saw Admiral William McRaven’s famous graduation speech where he said that making one’s bed would be your first small success of the day, I figured I would add that critical task on my way to conquering the world.
So Why Don’t I Get Anything Done?
A question I continuously asked myself was, “if I love making a to-do list and crossing off tasks, why do I always feel like I’m not getting anything done?” As life hackers often tout (Tim Ferriss — I’m talking to you), reflecting on your day’s accomplishments is a great way to take stock of your productivity. When I performed this daily reflection, I often found that many of my top priorities were still hanging around, and even if the list got shorter, I still felt like I wasn’t completing the right tasks. I might have been working faster, but I wasn’t working smarter.
What is Your “Why?”
So why do we make to-do lists anyway? Bradley — Don’t be silly! To get things done, of course! But is that really my “why?” Do I want to get things done, or do I just like the feeling of crossing something off? Do I like to make real progress on my goals, or do I just like the quick dopamine hit that comes with crossing out a chore? For me, it seemed to be the latter. I craved the feeling of drawing a line through a task or checking a box on Todoist, or some other addictive list-making app. I became so obsessed with making lists and crossing off items, that my wife jokingly said that I should join LMA (List Makers Anonymous). I even imagined what my first meeting would look like:
Me: Hi everyone. My name is Bradley
Room: Hi Bradley
Me: Yeah, hi. Um, my name is Bradley, and I’m a list maker (hangs head in shame)
Suffice to say, I was feeding an insatiable urge to cross off tasks by filling my lists with a lot of low-hanging fruit, aka “small wins.” But the truth is, small wins aren’t needle movers. Sure, you can get a lot of things done and create the illusion of being productive, but in the end, you still haven’t completed the types of tasks that move your life forward.
Procrastination In Disguise
It took many years, but over time, I realized I had what I like to call an “avoidance problem.” On a subconscious level, I added small things to my plate to avoid tackling the big stuff. Although I never strayed from adding difficult or ambitious tasks to my to-do list, what I found was that for every big task on my list, I had created 10–15 smaller tasks to feel a sense of accomplishment and to avoid the one true thing I needed to do. Gary Keller writes extensively about this phenomenon in his book, The One Thing. You could even say that his philosophy inspired this entire article. Be it through fear of these big, hairy tasks, or the noise of the smaller ones, I avoided doing what was hard and necessary. This avoidance bled into my personal life, my professional life, and everywhere in between. Does this sound like a path to enlightenment? I can assure you it is not.
Find the Magic!
There’s a famous quote that is usually attributed to the German poet and playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, where he says, “whatever you can do or dream; you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” You can apply that quote to a lot of challenges in your life, like applying to that job you think you’re unqualified for, or asking out that person you feel is out of your league. Or, in my case, tackling that big task you’ve been avoiding on your to-do list. But once I started doing the important, challenging things first, I realized that a certain weight came off my shoulders. It was as if the universe said, “that’s the one!” When I finally committed myself to completing a big work assignment, or fixing a plumbing issue that I felt woefully unqualified to tackle, I felt a certain peace come over me. It was like cleaning off years worth of gunk on my tepid soul, where before I was only doing a surface cleaning. The real problems, it seemed, were hidden.
I would ask that you commit today to ignore the milk runs and that pressing need to reorganize your underwear drawer, and instead apply to that job, or ask that boy or girl for their phone number. I agree with Admiral McRaven that making your bed can be a great small win, but let’s not settle for small wins. Be bold and you might that little bit of magic in your life as well.
